He’s got a big ego….such a big ego (cue the Beyonce!)
I’ve been thinking a lot about ego and how it affects our choices, especially as leaders.
So, what do I mean when I say ego? In this context, I’m talking about how we judge our self-worth, especially in relation to others.
Simple things I’ve noticed about myself:
The conflict between wanting to be noticed and choosing things because I like them.
Comparing myself to others, their achievements, and their possessions. Do I want that new car, pair of sneaks, outfit because I need it or I want people to see me in a certain way?
What I’ve observed in leaders:
❌ Thinking you need to know it all as the leader/founder
❌ Taking up the most space in meetings
❌ Misjudging your ability and not empowering others
❌ Believing you need to be the CEO because you're the founder when you might be better in other roles in the company
❌ Taking credit for other's ideas
I believe it’s good to have a clear idea of what your ego is, and when your need for self-worth and to be recognized by others affects your decision-making. This is where an elevated leader can differentiate themselves and become more effective with their teams.
Ask yourself, am I trying to stand out right now? Is my ego driving my behavior and my decisions?
For example, when debating ideas with your colleagues, instead of trying to “win” or get them to see it your way instead:
✅ Start with the attitude of curiosity: What can I learn today? How may I be wrong?”
✅ Be present to how much space you take up in meetings and discussions, empower others to speak, and invite them in to share their ideas and thoughts
✅ Steelman their position, make it as robust as possible, then debate that idea.
✅ Ask for feedback about how you show up as a leader; get regular 360’s
Remember, while our successes may draw people to us, what makes them respect and love us is our behavior and how we leave them feeling after interacting with us.
💡Where is your ego getting in the way?
💡Who gives you the feedback you really need to hear?
