I’ve always been a bit different from the typical guy.

I struggled to have many male friends when I was younger, even though I was very sporty and did team sports. I just didn't know how to have those close relationships, as it had never been modeled to me by my dad, who didn't have friends, just guys he occasionally rode a bike with. I never had uncles or those older men to look up to and learn from.

I was also different as I rarely drank (and if I did, it was usually something very sweet with an umbrella and a straw!), so it was hard to fit in with the British culture of drinking and clubbing. I still did it because I didn’t want to be alone, but I always felt different and like an outsider.

Through my journey of being in and now leading men’s groups, I see how different we all are as men. And that there is no one way to be a man or one way to be appropriately “masculine.” I see and experience men being incredibly supportive and loving toward each other (which is my definition of being masculine). So accepting of their difference and surprised at how much they also have in common. I get to work with and support men as they better themselves to be more complete fathers, partners, friends, and colleagues.

It can be disheartening to feel like you are different and don’t fit in. Even when you know you must follow the right path for you. Just know there may be more people like you than you think and many more who will love and accept you just as you are. There are many men like me, loving, kind, and open to all types of men and masculinity.